Chapter 13 of 27

The Cycle of Seasons

The Cycle of Seasons

The storm did not end all at once. It loosened by degrees, like a fist remembering how to become a hand.

By the time the first evacuation bus reached the inland shelter, Gruff had stopped shivering only because exhaustion had taken over the work.

The shelter was a high school gymnasium that smelled of floor wax, wet clothes, bleach, and cafeteria coffee. Volunteers moved between cots with clipboards and blankets. People sat in clusters beneath basketball hoops, clutching trash bags of rescued belongings or nothing at all.

Brute sat beside Gruff on a folded mat while a medic cleaned the cut on his shoulder. Every time Gruff’s eyes drifted closed, Brute nudged him with one knee.

“Stop dying recreationally,” Brute said.

Gruff opened one eye. “Ain’t dead.”

“You keep saying that like it is a stable condition.”

The medic glanced between them, decided not to ask, and pressed another strip of gauze into place.

Across the gym, Mason and Ellie slept against their mother beneath a donated quilt. The children’s faces were clean now except for a rim of mud at Mason’s hairline and one stubborn streak on Ellie’s cheek. Their mother had one arm around each of them, as if she intended never to discover where her own body ended again.

Gruff watched them until Brute noticed.

“They’re asleep,” Brute said.

Gruff nodded.

“Safe,” Brute added.

Gruff nodded again, but his eyes did not leave the children.

Brute’s voice softened. “You did enough.”

Gruff looked down at his hands. They were wrapped around a paper cup of coffee he had not drunk. His knuckles were swollen. Fine cuts crossed his fingers where the fence had bitten through skin.

“Don’t feel like enough,” he said.

Brute leaned back against the wall beneath a banner that read HOME OF THE WILDCATS.

“That,” he said, “is because your internal measuring system was assembled by wolves and guilt.”

Gruff huffed once. It was almost a laugh.

His phone lay on the mat between them, dark and dead. The portable charger from his pack had survived, but the charging cable had not. Brute had searched every pocket twice, then accused the flood of targeted theft.

At the registration table, a volunteer called out that the landline was working for emergency contact calls.

Gruff stood too fast.

The gym tilted.

Brute caught his elbow. “Ambitious. Bad. Sit.”

“Phone.”

“Yes. We will go to the phone like civilized wet disasters.”

Brute stood first, tucked one arm beneath Gruff’s, and pretended the support was casual.

Gruff let him.

That frightened Brute more than the flood had.

At the folding table, Gruff dialed from memory. His fingers shook so badly that he mispressed the second number and had to start over.

Brute said nothing.

The line rang once.

Twice.

On the third ring, Sum-ma answered with a voice made entirely of restraint.

“Hello?”

Gruff closed his eyes.

“Faye.”

The sound that came through the receiver was not quite a sob. It was the sound of a person putting down a burden she had refused to admit she was carrying.

“Lee.”

Behind her, somewhere in Ohio, something crashed.

Freddy shouted, “I did not break it permanently!”

Gruff laughed once, broken and breathless.

Sum-ma made the same sound from the other end of the line.

“Are you hurt?” she asked.

Gruff looked at Brute.

Brute shook his head firmly.

Gruff said, “Some.”

Brute mouthed, Better.

“Where are you?” Sum-ma asked.

“Inland shelter. High school gym. We’re safe for now.”

“For now,” she repeated, hearing the space inside the phrase.

Gruff looked across the gym at the families, the medics, the wet blankets, the maps taped to the wall, and the volunteers already planning another round of evacuations.

“For now,” he said.

Silence moved between them, full of everything the storm had interrupted.

Then Theresa’s voice came faintly through the phone.

“Is that him?”

Gruff’s hand tightened around the receiver.

“Put her on,” he said.

A rustle. Sum-ma murmuring. Freddy whispering too loudly that he also needed to speak because he had maintained several household systems.

Then Theresa.

“Gruff?”

He had carried so many sentences for her through the flood that they tangled together when he finally reached the moment.

There was nothing wrong with you. I am proud of you. I am sorry I was not there. Growing does not mean leaving. Needing comfort does not make you small.

All true.

All too large.

So Gruff closed his eyes and began where love could fit.

“Hey, my girl.”

Theresa made a small sound.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Gruff’s eyes opened.

“For what?”

“Making you worry.”

Gruff bent over the phone as if he could shelter her through the wire.

“Baby, you don’t owe nobody an apology for bein’ scared.”

On the other end, Theresa went quiet.

Gruff spoke carefully, because the words mattered and because he was tired enough to break them.

“There ain’t nothin’ wrong with you. Your body’s doin’ what bodies do. It can hurt and feel strange and still be all right. You hear me?”

“I hear you.”

“You can need help and still be strong.”

Her breath caught.

“And you can grow,” he said, “without goin’ anywhere I can’t love you.”

Theresa cried then, softly and furiously, as if angry at the tears for arriving where someone could hear them.

Gruff stayed on the line.

He did not try to fix the crying.

He only let her hear him breathing.

When she could speak again, she said, “Are you coming home?”

Gruff looked toward the doors where new evacuees were arriving, soaked and frightened, carrying more stories than the gym could hold.

Brute watched him.

For the first time, Gruff did not answer from duty.

He answered from promise.

“I’m comin’ home,” he said. “Soon as I can do it safe.”

Theresa breathed out.

“Bring Baba too.”

Brute leaned toward the receiver. “I am apparently cargo.”

Theresa gave a watery laugh.

Gruff smiled into the phone.

It hurt.

He kept doing it anyway.

Rain still dragged itself across the roof in hard, slanted sheets, but the wind no longer tried to peel them from the shingles. The water below remained violent, brown and crowded with pieces of other people’s lives, yet its roar had dropped half a note.

Gruff lay on his side with the safety rope cutting across his hip and Brute’s hand still fisted in the back of his vest.

“You can let go,” Gruff said.

“I am considering your request.”

Gruff turned his head just enough to look at him.

Brute’s face was pale beneath the rain. Mud streaked one cheek. Blood had dried at the corner of his mouth and washed away and dried again. His usual expression—the one that made trouble before trouble knew it had been invited—was gone.

What remained was the man underneath.

“Ken,” Gruff said softly.

Brute blinked hard. “Do not use my government name while I am emotionally damp.”

Gruff reached back and covered Brute’s hand with his own. He did not pry it loose.

For a while, that was enough.

Across the roof, Tasha checked Mr. Alvarez’s pulse and asked him questions she had probably asked a hundred frightened people before. His answers came slowly. His eyes remained on the water where his daughter’s house disappeared beneath itself.

Gruff watched him and understood that not every rescue looked like pulling someone out of a current. Sometimes the rescue was sitting close enough that a person did not have to witness loss alone.

He started to move.

Brute’s hand tightened immediately.

“No.”

Gruff looked back.

“No,” Brute repeated. “You are not crawling across a roof in a flood with your ribs making that noise.”

“My ribs ain’t making noise.”

“They are. It is a wet, judgmental sound.”

Gruff almost smiled.

Brute saw it and looked away.

“I thought you were gone under that fence,” he said.

The words landed without a joke to catch them.

Gruff’s thumb moved once over Brute’s knuckles.

“I thought you were,” he said.

Brute swallowed. Rain ran down his face, hiding what the storm did not own.

Below them, the water kept moving. It carried splintered boards, a cooler, a child’s red sandal, a white cabinet door, and something green that might once have been part of a porch swing. Each object passed and vanished, proof that the world could keep changing even while the body stayed frozen.

Gruff closed his eyes.

In Ohio, Theresa would be asleep or pretending to be. Freddy would be asking Sum-ma questions until exhaustion finally carried him sideways. Sum-ma would keep one phone charged, another within reach, and fear tucked beneath her tongue where the children could not taste it.

He had wanted to tell Theresa himself.

That there was nothing wrong with her.

That growing did not mean leaving him behind.

That needing comfort did not make her small.

Instead, the storm had swallowed the call, and all his love was trapped inside unfinished words.

Brute’s shoulder pressed against his.

“You’ll tell her,” Brute said.

Gruff opened his eyes.

“You will,” Brute said again, fiercer this time, as if daring the water to disagree.

Gruff nodded once.

Then, for the first time since the relief site had gone dark, he let himself stop calculating.

He let himself feel the weight of the roof beneath him, the rope around his waist, Brute’s hand still holding on, and the terrible mercy of being alive with nothing useful to do for one breath.

The breath shook when it left him.

Brute did not tease him for it.

That, more than anything, told Gruff how frightened he was.